Tuesday, July 3rd, 2001
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11:01 am
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Lisa is right.
I need to heal ...in a much less vocal way.
It's time for me to step up and pull my shit together.
To let go and stop hurting both of us.
This is a friendship I don't want to lose.
We will find eachother when we are ready.
Be good.
I love you.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, July 2nd, 2001
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5:20 pm
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8:24 am - Joey, do you like films about.... gladiators?
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Sorry for being hurt and taking it out on you.
I haven't been a friend lately.
Smile your wonderful smile.
Laugh your contagious laugh.
Keep amazing everyone around you.
And when you want a friend who loves you,
I'll be right there.
current mood: OK
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(comment on this)
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5:50 am
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Sunday, July 1st, 2001
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3:21 am - HA HAAAA!!!
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It's about 3:20AM and I'm pretty sure I'm the Omega man of LJ. The last person left on earth. Or awake as the case may be.
I'm gonna soak all of your hands in warm water.
muha hahaha muhahahahahaha
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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2:10 am
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... I know you do Lis. And I know you always have.
I love you too.
Just give me time.
Thanks.
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(comment on this)
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12:31 am
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I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have.
I know I'm supposed to be happy for the memories, but I'd trade them all in if I could just to go back to us being friends and a simple kiss on a Sunday afternoon.
I fucked up.
Now I'm fucking this up too.
current mood: empty
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, June 30th, 2001
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7:38 pm
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I want to say something
but the best thing to do is say nothing.
Bite down hard until love fades away.
I know it will be ok.
It just hurts a lot
and I'm feeling lonely.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Metallica: Load
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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8:59 am
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better...
I think I just needed some sleep.
Wouldn't a shiney new dvd player make me feel even better!?
Well Rex, if your asking me... I think it's a splendid idea! Ooh.. and don't forget to pick up some movies too. Course, the electronics place is right across from the bookstore too. hmmm.....
current music: Bloodhound Gang
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(comment on this)
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2:23 am - Ever feel like you HATE being you?
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@%&Y+_&+!*&!!^#%!%!^@(#$*+&Y*
Lemme just say this fucking sucks ass!
There should be some sort of biological block that prevents one person from falling in love more than the other.
My mid-year resolution is to be less stupid and less trusting. I know I shouldn't nag here because it's not fair. But then again... what is?
I don't think I'm handling this too well tonight.
Blah.
current mood: Fucked
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, June 29th, 2001
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11:50 pm
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Her skin still feels good in my hands.
And I can feel this gravitational pull when we're in the same room.
What she says makes sense to my head,
But my heart is so stubborn.
I miss her.
current mood:  mellow
current music: Soundgarden
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
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5:05 am
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mmmm... 5am.
j0y.
what a week.
I have to say.. this doesn't seem real.
I remember once I got splashed in the face by an over boiling car radiator. When it hit, it felt cold and I didn't realized I was actually burned until I saw the red blisters in the mirror.
This feels about the same.
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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12:38 am - FUCK YOU.
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Fuck you.
To everyone that came before me.
For taking something away from her and
making tomorrow impossible.
Fuck you.
To everyone that will come after me.
For taking 'this' away and
making me into just a memory.
And fuck me.
For believing that I was something special.
Something more than just a link in a chain.
Think I'll go get drunk now.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, June 21st, 2001
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8:37 am
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Blah.
current mood:  exanimate
current music: tv snow
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12:04 am - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8......9!!
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mmmm pool. Beat Tim (aka the rabbit) tonight 5 straight sets! Thats gotta leave an ego dent but I'm happy to have my game back. Had a really nice bike ride through the park and dinner then went back for more practice. All in all... about 6 hours of pool tonight. Not too shabby.
I would have given up tonight for a serenade of Barry White. Soon.....
xox.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: Beastie Boys: Brass Monkey
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
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12:25 pm - No.... seriously.
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What do you think:
LiveJournal.
A community of open minded thinkers. Sharing experiences and bouncing thoughts off one another in an effort to maybe enrich our lives or someone elses.
Or...
A soapbox for dysfunctionals to shout out to anyone who happens to stumble upon their words?
A little of both perhaps?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
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10:10 pm
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Friday started with a weather forecast calling for a gray and dismal weekend. And I was ready for it. Well... as best I could be that is.
But we talked.. and held eachother and talked some more. Confessed things and reassured feelings that we've known all along:
Love is good. Pain is bad.
Not just to love someone else, but to love yourself. And to have the strength to say 'I am not perfect and I need you'.
So, it starts.. good or bad... it's honest. And thats a true sign of real love.
In the end.. Love is stronger than fear and you can only move forward with hope.
Win, lose, or draw... we will never be the same. But isn't that the point?
It's always just a chance but I have a feeling this just may work.
I see a big road ahead of us with lots of adventures crossing our path. And I'm lucky to have this girl walking along side of me. So lucky. So very lucky. (shuttt up Clarice...)
current mood: excited
current music: Joan Osborne: Righteous Love
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, June 18th, 2001
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11:07 am
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Sunday, June 17th, 2001
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10:59 am - Happy Fathers day.
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Thursday, June 14th, 2001
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9:35 pm - 911.. please!
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While it may seem safe...
Playing darts barefoot was not the best idea of the day.
I have to go now.
current mood:  embarrassed
current music: Primus:Tales from the punchbowl
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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cyrex's journal
